Hell of an Answer!

Hello Family and Friends,

Last week in my speech class my professor read me something that was so hilarious I had to post it here. It is fairly long however very funny. So enjoy!

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?



Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

Graduation Blues!

Hello Family and Friends,

Well, we thought graduation was going to be a huge relief. No more classes, tests, or presentations. You would think that graduation would alleviate stress. However, that is the complete opposite. Things are going crazy around this time. We didn't realized how expensive graduation could get. You have to purchase the gown, the cap, and the tassel among other things. Thank goodness Britt knows how to budget for the unexpected. You can definitely tell he is a finance major. I'm grateful everyday that he knows what he is doing because sometimes I don't know what I would do without him. I'm also grateful to K-State too because they know how to add on additional stress. About a week ago, I was going through my mail and I realized a letter from K-State. I was thinking it was going to be something about graduation or something congratulating me on my completion of my degree. Nope, I was wrong. It was a summary of my loans.


How thoughtful of them to send me that letter about two months before graduation. Couldn't they wait until after graduation? Honestly! Let's not add on more stress.

So besides graduation expenses and loans, there are many other things stressing me out. Looking for a job in this economy is stressful. No one is really hiring. There are a few jobs that I've applied for however I haven't had too many responses. How does K-State expect me to pay my loans if I can't get a job? So...that is stressful. We also have to decide where we are going to be living for the next 10 years. I'll most likely get a job in Wichita and Britt has a job opening in Wichita coming up soon. But, what if I don't get a job down there? I've applied for a job with Kansas State University which would mean that Britt and I would be living apart and that isn't what we were wanting. We also have to think about where we are going to move my stuff when I do finish up this semester at K-State. Another thing I have to worry about it whether I'll get the grades I want this semester. The grades are looking good as of right now however anything can change.

There are a few things that are going to help alleviate stress. We get the opportunity to move my older sister in Omaha, NE. It will be time consuming however it will be a blast! I can't wait! Also, our friends are getting married the last weekend in May. We also are in the wedding which makes it a little stressful however it should relieve more stress than it creates.

So right now I'm a little overwhelmed however Britt is doing an amazing job of keeping me calmed down. That is just another reason why I appreciate him so much. I need to be calm so my chronic mono doesn't come back. However, everything is going well and I'm excited for graduation to be over.

Love,
Britt and Liz